The Sex Resolution

Sexpert Opinion

New Year’s Resolutions get a bad rap at this time of year. There is countless chatter about how they are stupid, and no one can ever stick to them. More often than not though, the Resolutions aren’t the problem — commitment is the problem.

The turn of a new year is, psychologically, a great time to make some changes in our lives. It has a feeling of renewal about it, a feeling of opportunities and fresh beginnings. Why not ride the wave of these invigorating feelings and get some momentum going on something you know you should devote more time to? If you’re serious about making a change, then the start of the New Year might have an advantage to helping you achieve your goal. The ability to say, ‘I haven’t had one cigarette in 2014’, does help you to stay focused and committed as the challenges surface.

One of the big issues with resolutions though, is that they always tend to be about things that are unfun. They’re always things like, getting in shape and exercising more, or working harder and saving money. People never have resolutions that are things like, I’m going to be good to myself this year, take more time to myself, have more time off, do things that I want to do. They might say them out loud, but they never make resolutions out of them, they never turn them into actual goals. Have you ever heard someone say, ‘I’m going to force myself to take 5 hours a week to do what I want to do’, and then actually deliver on that resolution? What about this for a resolution: I’m going to have more sex with my partner this year? We’re going to have sex at least four times a week for the whole year?

It’s an unlikely resolution because sex is a fun activity. It doesn’t sound like something that needs to be enforced or committed to, and so people don’t think of it. But, when the stresses of work pile up, and domestic activities become overwhelming, it’s one of the first things we drop. In times of stress, an active sex life is what can help you to get through it. There are endless studies that point to sex being beneficial, to our heart, our mental wellbeing, our ability to relax, our ability to focus. If you want to get healthier in 2014, then why not make the promise of more sex, and stick to it.

Maybe 2014 can be the year of more adventurous sex. Maybe you and your partner have realised that your sex-lives have taken a turn into drab town. Make the commitment to do maybe one thing a month that is totally different in the bedroom. Maybe it’s dress-ups. Maybe it’s the addition of a sex toy, like a vibrator or some glow-in-the dark-lubricant. Maybe it’s time to try some sex games.

Sex shouldn’t just be an indulgence: it should be a passage to health and longevity. Prioritise it like you would other non-negotiable activities in your life, and make it happen now before 2014 loses its new-ness. Your mental and physical health depends on it.  

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