"For couples looking to have their first threesome, I do believe that booking an escort can be a great way to explore a different kind of play"
My first threesome was in a brothel. This might be a little unconventional, except at the time I happened to be working there. I was 18 at the time and was asked by the receptionist whether I would be happy to do a lesbian double with another worker, as requested by a client. I am bisexual and was super attracted to the other girl, who turns out was also really attracted to me. The client definitely got his sensual lesbian fantasy fulfilled - in that, we were so busy fucking each other we almost forgot about him. Lesson number one in a threesome: don’t be surprised if you find yourself on the outskirts of some hot and heavy girl on girl action.
As an escort, over the years I’ve seen many couples that have decided they want to experiment and play with another partner. In my personal life, I’ve also had threesomes with a partner, and been the one to join in with other couples. I’ve had MMF (male, male, female) threesomes and FFM (female, female, male).
I have enjoyed most of my experiences and also learnt a lot about non-monogamy and navigating some of the emotions that can come up during group sex. For couples looking to have their first threesome, I do believe that booking an escort can be a great way to explore a different kind of play whilst maintaining boundaries that help with emotions like desire and jealousy.
As an escort, I may be biased, but I believe one of the advantages of booking an escort is professionalism. That word can sometimes turn people off as they associate it with being sterile and disconnected, but for me being professional means I find out what the couples’ boundaries are. I listen to what they want and make sure it happens (as long as its within my means and within my own boundaries), and most importantly, when I leave I don’t contact them unless they contact me for another booking.
As a professional, I don’t take it personally if a couple decides that they don’t want me to have penetrative sex with the man, or if they feel more comfortable with the “finish” happening between the couple and not with me. I am also used to making the first move or breaking the ice, as it’s my job to meet new people and form connections with them quickly. I am being paid for my time and my services, and its important to me that people feel comfortable and satisfied.
HOW YOU MIGHT FEEL DURING A THREESOME AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
If you do decide to have a threesome with another person, whether it’s a fuck buddy, a friend or your partner, I’ve found it helpful to talk to them about where my boundaries and limits are. What turns me on? Would watching the other person have penetrative sex with my partner turn me on or freak me out? Would I be okay with the escort making my partner cum? I’ve found that being open and chatting about this stuff really helps all parties involved determine where their boundaries are and makes for a much more pleasurable experience.
Do you have kinky sex with your partner? I’ve been in a quite a few kinky relationships of varying degrees of commitment, as well as been with kinky couples as an escort. I personally love having kinky sex, but have found it super important to chat about what everyone wants. If you were in a submissive role in your relationship, would it be hotter for you to have the other two “top” or dominate you? How would you feel about your partner “topping” the other person as well? Are there certain things in your kink repertoire (like bondage gear, dildos for example) that you want to keep for just the two of you? Or, would you enjoy watching your partner do them to another person?
When picking an escort to come and join the fun, the most important thing is to first check if the escort is happy to see couples! Don’t take it personally if they say no, each service provider is different. On the escort directory Scarlet Blue (where I advertise), the services provided are usually listed. Make it a fun thing to do as a couple - have a glass of wine, scroll through and look through profiles and decide which one it turning you both on the most! You can also read reviews left by other clients on the workers profile to gauge what kind of service they offer and what they are like!
Its always nice to receive a message that states your name, what date the person would like to play and how long for. Being polite and concise is a big turn on for me when I get messages from couples! It’s also important to let the provider know if you are after a kinky booking, if there’s something specific you want or any additional info you think they should know.
DO:
- Have fun!
- Remember that your partner having fun with the other person doesn’t mean they are any less attracted to you, or not turned on by you. It can be exciting to sleep with new people, but that doesn’t mean that they love you less or don’t want to fuck you.
- Give your escort the money at the start of the booking in an envelope and give them time to count it somewhere discrete.
- Make it about the seduction as well if you can, book enough time so you can sit, have a glass of champagne, flirt and talk before playtime. It also lets chemistry and banter happen, which I find makes the sex way hotter.
- Take the time afterwards to debrief together and talk about what you liked (and if you feel up to it, fooling around again!)
DON’T:
- Ask the escort what their “real” name is, or press them for personal details.
- Book an escort for your partner without talking to them first! Surprises are best when they are flowers (or diamonds), not a stranger rocking up for group sex!
- Treat the escort like a sex doll. They are a person with feelings and emotions, and ordering them around and demanding they do things is weird and dehumanizing. Treat them how you would want to be treated- with courtesy, manners and with empathy.
This is by no means a definitive guide, but I hope it’s a good starting point for those who may have thought about seeing a sex worker for a threesome but weren’t sure where to start.
Have fun!
Rita Xx
Rita Therese
- I’m an escort and a writer based in Melbourne, Australia. I work under the name Gia James.
- I publish my own series of zines that are a mixture of erotic fiction and memoirs.
- In the past I have been a stripper, started in porn, worked as a dominatrix, done massage and worked as a performer at bucks parties. I was also a Gods Girl (an alternative porn website like suicide girls)
