G'day legends. Back in my building days, the part of a house nobody ever thought about was the subfloor. Bearers, joists, the whole lot hidden under the boards doing the actual work. Nobody walks in and says nice joists, mate. But let it go soft and your floor sags, your doors stop shutting, and you have got an expensive problem you could have prevented with a bit of maintenance.
Your pelvic floor is the subfloor. A sheet of muscle you cannot see, running from your pubic bone at the front to your tailbone at the back, holding up your bladder, your bowel and your sex life. Most blokes have never given it a thought, because somewhere along the line Kegel exercises got filed under women's business.
That is rubbish, and it is costing you. Kegel exercises for men are one of the few free things you can do that make erections firmer, give you real control over when you finish, and keep you from dribbling into your jocks at the footy. Same maintenance thinking as booking a regular sexual health check, just aimed at a muscle nobody ever mentions.
What Your Pelvic Floor Actually Does Down There?
Continence Health Australia describes the pelvic floor as the group of muscles and tissues inside the pelvis that support your bladder, bowel and prostate. Those muscles wrap around the urethra and the anus, opening and closing them when you tell them to.
When they are working properly, they do a fair bit more than that. They control wee, poo and wind, hold your pelvic organs in place, support your posture and breathing, and play a direct role in sexual sensation, erection, and ejaculation. They are also a big part of recovery after prostate surgery.
Here is the bit that makes blokes sit up. An erection is basically a plumbing job. Blood flows into the spongy tissue in your penis, and the veins that would let it back out get compressed, so it stays put. Your pelvic floor muscles do that compressing. Weak muscles, leaky seal, softer erection. It is the same logic a cock ring works on, except your pelvic floor does it from the inside and does not come off.
Why Blokes Think This Is a Women's Thing
Mostly because that is who gets told about it. Pregnancy and menopause come with a pelvic floor conversation built in. Blokes get nothing until something goes wrong, and by then they are playing catch-up.
The numbers say we should have been paying attention. Continence Health Australia puts it at around 2.4 million men and boys in Australia living with incontinence, roughly 2 in 10 blokes. Seven in ten people with incontinence here are under 65, and the average age is 51. This is not a wait until you are eighty situation. It is a maintenance job, same as anything else worth keeping.
What Pelvic Floor Strengthening Does for Your Sex Life
This is the part nobody puts on the pamphlet, so let me be blunt about it, mate:
- Harder, longer-lasting erections: Stronger muscles mean a better seal on those veins, so the blood stays where you want it.
- Real control over when you finish: Australian men's health sources report Kegel exercises resolve premature ejaculation in 55% to 83% of cases. That is a hell of a strike rate for something that costs nothing.
- Punchier orgasms: The fast-twitch fibres in your pelvic floor are the ones firing during orgasm and ejaculation.
- No more after-dribble: That annoying bit two minutes after you have zipped up is a pelvic floor problem, and it responds to training.
- Better recovery after prostate surgery: Pelvic floor training is standard for getting bladder control and sexual function back.
Worth saying out loud: premature ejaculation affects between one in five and one in three Australian blokes aged 18 to 59. You are not broken and you are not alone. Three to eight minutes is what the research considers normal, so if you have been measuring yourself against something you watched online, chuck that ruler out.
How to Find the Bloody Things First
You cannot train a muscle you cannot locate, and this is where most blokes get it wrong on day one. They clench their arse cheeks, hold their breath, and wonder why nothing has changed after a month.
Do this instead. Stand starkers in front of a mirror. Squeeze the front passage, squeeze the back passage, and lift up and in, like you are trying to lift your nuts towards your guts. Gently, not with everything you have got.
Done right, you will see the base of your penis draw in slightly towards your belly and your testicles lift. Then let go, and feel that release properly. The letting go is half the exercise.
You can also use stopping your wee midstream to find the right muscles, but only try it once or twice. Doing it regularly muddles your bladder's natural rhythm and creates a new problem while you are fixing the old one.
The Routine, Straight Up
Two types of squeeze, because your pelvic floor has two jobs. Slow holds build the endurance that keeps an erection going. Quick squeezes train the fast fibres that handle ejaculation.
Slow lifts
Squeeze and lift, hold for 3 seconds, then fully relax for the same amount of time. Build up to 5 to 8 seconds as you get stronger. Start with 3 to 5 lifts in a set and work up to 8 to 10. Keep breathing, keep your legs and buttocks out of it.
Quick squeezes
Same squeeze, but sharp, about one second per cycle. Start with 3 to 5 and build up to 10. These are the ones that pay off in ejaculation control.
How often, and when
Aim for three sets a day. Standing makes the muscles work harder than sitting or lying down, so once the technique is sorted, do them on your feet.
The trick is bolting them onto something you already do. Every time you wash your hands, every time you put the kettle on, every red light on the way to work. Nobody can tell. Most blokes notice a difference within two or three weeks, and like any muscle it goes backwards if you stop, so treat it as a habit rather than a six-week project.
Mistakes Blokes Make
- Going too hard: Gentle and precise beats a full-body clench every time.
- Forgetting to relax: A muscle that never lets go is not a strong muscle.
- Recruiting everything else: If your abs, buttocks and thighs are joining in, you are not isolating the right gear.
- Quitting at week two: This is a slow build. You would not expect a bench press to change in a fortnight either.
When the Problem Is Tight, Not Weak
Worth knowing before you go flat out: not every dodgy pelvic floor is a weak one. A smaller group of blokes have the opposite issue, muscles that are too tense and cannot switch off. That is called an overactive or hypertonic pelvic floor.
Signs include pelvic pain, pain during or after sex, constipation or straining on the loo, a slow or hesitant stream, and needing to go constantly. If that sounds like you, hammering out sets of Kegels makes things worse. What you need is relaxation work: breathing into your belly, hip and inner thigh stretches, and a proper assessment.
Either way, if you cannot feel the muscles working, if it hurts, or if nothing has shifted after about three weeks, go see a pelvic health physio or your GP. If you have had prostate or urological surgery, wait until your surgeon gives you the all clear before you start. There is also a free National Continence Helpline on 1800 33 00 66 staffed by nurse continence specialists.
Pairing It With Your Solo Sessions
Best part of pelvic floor strengthening is that the practice can be a bit of fun. Solo play is the perfect testing ground. Try the stop-start approach: stroke until you are close, then stop and squeeze your pelvic floor for a few seconds until the urge backs off. Repeat three or four times before you let go. That is edging and Kegel practice in the same session. There is more on building the session out in the guide to creative masturbation techniques.
A bit of gear helps too, and the crew at ClubX can point you at the right thing. A cock ring pairs up nicely with the training, since it is doing the same holding job from the outside. A decent stroker gives you consistent sensation to practise your control against, and a prostate massager puts you in direct contact with the whole region so you learn where everything sits. Use plenty of water-based lube with any of it, clean your toys straight after with proper toy cleaner, and never rush a first go.
Final Thoughts
Nobody is going to compliment your pelvic floor. Same as nobody ever complimented my joists. But it is holding up everything you care about down there, and a few minutes a day is a bloody small price for firmer erections, better control and no surprises in your undies.
Start tonight. Find the muscles in the mirror, do one set, and stick a reminder on the fridge. Give it three weeks before you judge it, and see a physio if you are not sure you have got the technique right.
And when you are ready to put the training to work, have a squiz at the male sex toys range at ClubX, or drop into your nearest store and have a chat. Look after each other, yeah? Now go get amongst it.
