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Foreplay should be the forefront of sexual bliss, but all too often, couples forgo the art of foreplay in favour of racing ahead to intercourse, and in doing so, they’re setting themselves up for failure. Much like a prologue to a novel, foreplay lays the groundwork for the story ahead, giving a taste of what’s to come.
Women typically need foreplay in order to have great sex. Women do tend to take longer to get in the mood. Foreplay bridges that gap and creates a flow of lubrication, making intercourse all the more pleasurable.
Sensuality is the key. Light, feathery caresses, holding hands, and nearness all create a bond between partners. It helps build up the sexual tension and arousal. But don’t make the mistake of rushing from sensuality to intercourse. Foreplay is a bad name because it sounds like something you start doing and then stop doing. Moving too quickly often ruins the moment. It's seduction, conversation, touching the body. It's eroticism at its finest, and should being something that goes on throughout lovemaking.
All too frequently, people tend to go right for the erogenous zones when they're in bed. That's nice and all, but there are other parts of the body that shouldn't be overlooked during sex and touching them helps build up excitement. The biggest complaint women make is that their partners jump to the genitals right away and ignore the face, the neck, the earlobes and just about anything else. Savour the whole body. The more time you spend doing this delicate dance of seduction, the more rewarding the final act will be.
Flirting is a form of foreplay, and one that most people overlook. Get dressed up, go out for dinner, and act as though you just met. Talk sexy to one another. Give a detailed description of what you’d like to do to each other and allow the anticipation to grow as you count down the minutes until you arrive home.
Continue the game by offering your partner a sexy striptease or an erotic massage. A massage can be quite titillating, invigorating the senses. Warm up some massage oil, or baby oil, and pour a small amount down the back of your lover. Slowly rub it into their skin, feeling each muscle. Allow your fingers to trace over them, maybe even sliding down between their legs, but don’t touch the erogenous zones. Let the stimulation of the other aspects of the body build the desire.
Sex toys are another suitable form of foreplay. For those feeling brave, vibrating panties are a thrilling option to wear on a night out. Want to involve your partner? Give them the remote control so they control when the panties start humming. In the bedroom, blindfolds, though simple, seem to be a favourite pastime for building erotic desires. By concealing vision, you allow the other senses to be heightened.
A vibrator at just the right frequency can also provide a much needed boost when it comes to foreplay. Tease your partner by turning it on and off as you use it on them. Or better yet, use it on yourself and put on a show for your other half. The intensity of the voyeuristic display will heighten both yours and your partner’s desire.
Communication is vital for good foreplay, both beforehand and during the act itself. When you talk about what you want out of sex, it helps everyone involved understand each other’s bodies and desires. This can be a vulnerable conversation to have, but your sex life will benefit from honesty. Make the time to have a discussion when you’re not under the stress of excitement or worried about criticism. And keep talking about it; one chat won't do it. It takes checking in over time. Just because something was effective as foreplay last night doesn't mean the same thing will work tonight. While this may all sound exhausting, remember that this can also be fun. Watch these couples giggle there way through foreplay talk:
It's also important to give your partner feedback in the moment. Make approving noises if you like what they’re doing. Say “Ooh that feels good” when it does, and don’t be afraid to speak up when something isn’t quite working for you. Your partner is not a mind-reader; they aren’t going to know if they’re too rough, missing the mark, or just not getting you there without some guidance.
Bottom line: Foreplay is just as important as sex itself, if not more so. It helps create a closeness while building up sexual tension and arousal. At the end of the day, you want to desire your partner, and you want your partner to desire you, so stop beating around the bush. Go ahead, get your foreplay on right now wherever you are.
Checkout Club X's novelty section for fun games to inspire even greater foreplay or our previous blog post on Kinky Boardgames.